Capital Hill Block Party 2013 – Seattle, WA

Scenes from Seattle’s Capital Hill Block Party – Part One:

540731_10151736487085862_1859951303_nMe:  “I can definitely tell that we’re not in Portland anymore…”

Rea:  “Yeah?   How’s that?”

Me:  “Well, first of all I haven’t smelled patchouli once, and the only hippie I’ve seen so far was wearing a gold chain!”

Rea:   “Not to mention all of the folks walking around eating hot dogs and sausages like they don’t even care that they’re eating something that once had a face.”

Me:  “I knew that Seattle style would be different than Portland, but I didn’t realize that there’d be so many yuppies.  Most of these kids look like they’ve stepped out of a Vampire Weekend video.”

Rea:   “What’s Vampire Weekend?  Like Twilight?”

Me:  “No, they’re a band who dress like rich kids who play tennis.”

Rea:   “Oh okay, all I know is that I’m trying to look cool at a 20-something block party.”

Me:  “Are you kidding? You’re cool just for being here.  Plus you’re wearing your Tom Cruise/Risky Business sunglasses, and also…you’re gay, and on Capital Hill that makes you one of the cool kids.”

Rea:  “Good to know.”

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Scenes from Seattle’s Capital Hill Block Party – Part 2

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Me:  “Ooh we have to go see this band called ‘Gaytheist‘ at 7:30!”

Rea:   “Why?”

Me:  “Because they’re called ‘GAYTHEIST’.”

Rea:  “Oh, of course that’s why.”

Later, as we were crammed behind the bar at the extremely loud Gaytheist show…

Gaytheist Lead Singer (GLS):  “This next song is about shitting off of a mountaintop.”

Rea:  “I bet this one’s gonna be a ballad.”

Me:   “Doesn’t the drummer look like Paul Bunyan had a love child with Axl Rose and then it turns out that they’re first cousins with Hulk Hogan?”

Rea:   “Actually, he does! He looks exactly like that!”

GLS:  “This next song is about an old guy…”

Me:   “…this will be a ballad for sure, Rea!”

GLS:  “…who kills people.”

Me:  “Okay, maybe not.”

Rea:  “At least they all look like they’re middle aged.  They’re like a middle aged, Portland heavy metal band.”

Me: “Of course that’s your favorite thing about them.”

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970611_10151736523215862_524737299_n(1)Only in Seattle can you witness at least 3 babies being conceived within a sea of acid wash jeans, triple belly-button piercings, Abercrombie cargo shorts, high-waisted Levi cutoffs (cutoff just short of the vajay-jay) and horizontal striped tshirts; all while grinding to a band called “Purity Ring“.

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Capital Hill Block Party – Part 3:

Me:  “There is one beach ball being tossed around this whole crowd and it’s already hit me in the back of the head twice.”

Rea:  “It’s called crowd beach-ball surfing.  Apparently you’re not into it.  I’ve gotta say that if I ever decided to crowd surf, I’d hope that you weren’t in the crowd.   I’d be like, ‘Whitney! Catch me!!’ and you’d be all ‘Wha…?’ and I’d splatter on the cement in front of you, and you’d take a picture and put it on Facebook.”

Me:  “Pickwick’s on the stage!  Look! I see Kory!!”

Rea:   “The beach-ball just about hit you in the head again. I blocked it…”

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3638_10151736679265862_1199496920_nApparently it’s cool in Seattle to fashion a hat with your Grandma’s old furniture upholstery?

 

 

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Seaside.

302786_10151581006620862_714680784_n255683_10151581343225862_1687393322_nSpontaneous trip to Seaside, OR for Rea’s (early) birthday!

Day 1: 

a) Nash, my dog, peed on some poor kid’s sand castle and sprinted into the ocean just so that he could put his weiner in the water.

b) We walked all around the sleepy beach town imagining what it would be like to grow up here. We decided that it would be like “Stand by Me” meets “The Goonies” – so apparently we’d be boys going through puberty while searching for dead bodies and treasures…?

c) Watching the sunset on the beach while sipping red wine from styrofoam cups.

d) Rea said I can’t admit to drinking from a styrofoam cup because we may get kicked out of Portland for single-handedly ruining the environment.

e)  “You think I’m gorgeous, you wanna kiss me, love me and marry me.” – Miss Congeniality.

f)  Me: “What time should I set the alarm for?”  Rea: “What time would you like to set the alarm for…?”  Me: “Well I’d really like to get up early enough to go look for sand dollars so…how about 6?”  Rea: “How bout you quit smokin’ crack before bed?”