Golden Globes.

Last night’s phone conversation with my Mom:

Me:  “Hi Mom, what are you up to?”

Mom: “Well I watched the Golden Globes, then I watched that show about housewives in Atlanta, and now I’m watching them try to decide which house to buy in Hawaii. After that, I’m going to bed.”

Me: “Anything else you feel like sharing?”

Mom: “No, that’s all.”

Me: “Most people just respond to that question with ‘nothing much’ or ‘a little of this and a little of that’ but not you; I always know that you’ll give me every last detail.”

Mom: “Well I just figured you’d want to know.”

Me: “Of course I do.”

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The Library.

I called my Mom yesterday to have a chat.  She answered my call, but apparently she was at the library because she whispered through the whole conversation.

Mom:  “Hello?”

Me:  “Hi Mom.  What are you up to?”

Mom:  “I’m at the library.”

Me:  “Huh?”

Mom:  “I’m at the library so I have to be quiet.”

Me:  “So why did you answer your phone if you’re at the library?”

Mom:  “Cuz I know that you hate it when I don’t answer my phone.”

Me:  “Well yeah, that’s true.  What the heck are you doing at the library anyway?  You never go there!”

Mom:  “I’m renting books, what do you think?”

Me:  “Well jeez Mom!  You don’t have to get snippy.”

Mom:  “Shhhhhh!”

Me:  “Mom, what the heck?  Did you just shush me?  I’m not the one at the library!”

Mom:  “Shhhhh.  I’ve gotta go.”

Me:  “Okay, nice chattin’ with ya…”

Mom:  “Yeah shhhh gotta go.”

Me:  “Stop shushing me!”

Mom:  “Love you.”

Me:  “Love you too, Mom.  And will you PLEASE stop being so LOUD?!”

Click.

Well, at least she answered her phone I guess?

You Ruined My Coffee!

My mom just called me to say, “Hi, so the Fire Department just came and broke down my door…”

I was like, “What the heck – why?!”She said, “Well you or Stacey must have called Kateeto come and check on me, and when she came over I didn’t answer the door because I figured it was some soccer kids trying to sell me candy bars and I’m back on the Atkins diet, plus I wasn’t dressed, so I didn’t answer the door. Next thing I know, I’m sitting in the living room in my bathrobe, drinking my first cup of coffee, and a fireman busted through the window behind me and stuck his head in and completely scared the crap out of me!!”I said, “Well, no one could get a hold of you for several days, so I called Stacey to see if she could get a hold of you and she said she tried to call and it went straight to voice-mail, so she asked Katee to go over and check on you. Maybe if you answered your phone once in a while or answered your door then we wouldn’t have to call the fire department to come and rescue you!”Mom: “Well, I can’t help it if my phone’s broken and I’m not dressed! You guys totally ruined my coffee. It didn’t even taste good after that!”Me: “Well gee, Mom, sorry we tried to save your life.”

Mom: “Well, you should be.”