Aunt J (ie; God + Gram and Gramps) vs. Gays

You will need to refer back to a previous blog titled, “The Gayest Valentine’s Day Ever!! Literally” for better context.

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Dear Whitney,

I haven’t heard from you so I am getting concerned.

You continue to be in my prayers daily. You are such a pretty and talented girl, Whitney.

Because I love you, your life is important to me, as well as it is most important to God, Grandma and Grandpa.

I have been studying the book of Romans and wanted to share Romans 12:2 “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God”. I have memorized that scripture and with Jesus’ help apply it to my own life.

I love you,

Aunt J

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Hi Aunt J,

I have not responded, because I don’t even know where to start. Obviously, I never “came out” to you, because I knew that you would not approve, and honestly I was afraid of losing you, and of losing Dad, and unfortunately it would seem as though I have already lost you both. Just like that.

My sexuality would actually be enough to make you no longer consider me a part of your family, and I think that that is absolutely disgraceful, to tell you the truth. I am still the same person. I still have the same heart. My sexuality does not change one thing about the person that I am, nor the person that God created me to be.

Dad told me that you have already looked into disinheriting me, and I just want you to know that I couldn’t care LESS about your money. What I care about is to be loved. To be loved by the people who God entrusted to be my family. What I care about is being loved for who I am, regardless of (what you would consider) my faults. I love all of my family, regardless of their faults, because there is not one of us who is without fault.

There are so many things that I can say, but the only thing that I really want to say to you is this:

If you are going to say that you love me, then you need to love me for who I am. Your “love” should not be conditional on who you would prefer me to be. I love you, Aunt J. I love you even though we disagree on this issue. I love you even though we would be likely to disagree on every single issue that I can possibly think of. You are my family, and I will always love you because I am extremely loyal to my friends and family. I love you because I do believe that Grandma and Grandpa would want for us to love and to be loving to each other. If you are going to say that you love me, then you need to love me in the way that God instructed us to love one another:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 – “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

I would love to have a close relationship with you, Aunt J, but the only way that that will ever be possible is if we can simply agree to disagree. I am not trying to change your mind on this issue, because I know that that is not possible, just as I know that it is not possible for you to change my mind either. I am in a loving, committed relationship with an extremely loving and compassionate woman, and I will be marrying her sometime in the near future.

Dad and I are working on rebuilding our relationship, and I would love it if you and I could do the same. But I am not interested in arguing about this topic, and if that is all that you continue to be interested in then it will be impossible for us to move forward.

The ball is in your court.

Love,

Whitney

P.S – The reason that I got fired up enough (and brave enough) to write to you tonight, is because of the recent scandal involving World Vision. The following is what I recently posted on my Facebook page regarding this issue:

There are some “Christians” who are actually proud of themselves for withdrawing their sponsorship to dying children, because they feel so strongly that gay Christians should not be allowed to work for World Vision. Really people? REALLY?? Do you REALLY think that this is what God would want you to do? Do you really think that a loving God would desire for innocent children punished for these petty theological disagreements? COME ON PEOPLE!! WAKE UP AND LOOK AT HOW SHAMEFUL AND DISGRACEFUL YOUR MORAL HIGH-GROUND LOOKS TO A STARVING CHILD! This makes me so sick to my stomach that I can hardly stand it.

I posted a link to the following article as well:

When Evangelicals Turn Against Children to Spite Me

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My Dear Whitney,

I can’t begin to tell you how saddened I am.

You have not lost either your Dad or me. You have unfortunately turned your back on us. I do not think you consider us to be a part of your family and, yes, that is disgraceful. God did not create you to be Gay. He created you to love Him and the truths in his word and with his help to live by them.

You have changed, Whitney. The Whitney I knew never would have done anything to hurt Grandma or Grandpa who loved you and did so much for you. If they were here today they would do everything they could to help you reject a lifestyle that God calls an abomination.

You need to re-read 1 Cor. 13:4-8. The Gay lifestyle is not kind and it does dishonor others and it is easily angered and it does not rejoice in the truth. It does fail!.

Because I love you Whitney and believe in Jesus as my Lord and Saviour I must always do as He teaches “Love that which is God, Abhor that which is evil.” The Gay lifestyle is evil.

Yes, it is important that we always love each other and keep in touch. I too do not want to argue. We need only to look to God’s word. Please read Romans 1:26-27 and I Cor. 6:9-11. Our thinking must always be based on what He thinks by the teachings in His word.

Right now your Dad, Uncle R and I are broken hearted but we will always continue to pray that you will turn away from a lifestyle that is not pleasing to God.

The ball is in your court.

Always look to Jesus.

I Love you,

Aunt J

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Aunt J,

Please do not contact me again until you can be loving. I do not deserve to be treated in this way, and I will not tolerate it.

I do not accept you speaking on behalf of Grandma and Grandpa. You speak for yourself and no one else. I had a close relationship between Grandma and Grandpa that you know nothing about. They loved me with their whole hearts and nothing would, or ever will change that.

And you also DO NOT speak for God. I have a relationship with God that you know nothing about.

So from now on, if and when you speak to me, remember that you are speaking for YOURSELF and NO ONE else.

– Whitney

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The Gayest Valentine’s Day Ever!! Literally.

It would be safe to say that my sister, Stacey, is my Hero...

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Dear Whitney,

 I wanted to send you an email to wish you Happy Birthday.
Your D told me that I needed to read your blog.  He had been crying over a month regarding your lifestyle.  I assured him that you were a Christian and that you would never do anything to hurt your Grandma and Grandpa.  I guess I was wrong!  Your Grandma and Grandpa would have been heart broken as well as Uncle R and I are.
We pray that you will turn away from a lifestyle that is not of God and we will do every thing we can to help you.  It is what Grandma and Grandpa would have wanted us to do.
We will always love you and pray for you.
Aunt J and Uncle R
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Dear R and J,

It pains me to write you this letter.  You have been so generous to both Whitney and my mom and I so appreciate it.  Your monetary help to Mom has been a godsend.  And R, I cannot thank you enough for the yard work and trips to the dump.  You were a lifesaver.

You both seem like such wonderful people and I don’t want to offend you in any way.  But I feel I must address your hateful and hurtful and ungodly comments to Whitney.  I know her heart is breaking.  You have made her feel ashamed and that is wrong!

I am very sorry that you feel Whitney has disappointed you both, as well as, M and E.  I would like to respond.

Although you feel that being gay is ungodly, many people, including many devout Christians, do not agree with you.  Many churches welcome gays into their ministries with open arms.  There are even gay ministers.  The bible is open to a lot of interpretation by humans and just because you believe one way, there is no proof that God or the Bible agree with your way.

Whitney is a Christian and lives a Christian life.  She attends church and prays and tries to be kind and helpful and forgiving.  Her Partner has gone through seminary, led a devout life, and is now a hospital Chaplain.  This is definitely a godly couple and they are leading a life devoted to god and each other.  Whitney leads a life of integrity.  She works hard.  She lives with God’s grace surrounding her in every thing she does.

I do not believe that being a homosexual and leading a homosexual life is a sin.  I imagine it is a trait we are born with.  Here is why I think this.  I was born a heterosexual.  I love my friends who are women, but no matter how much I love them, I do not want to have sex with them.  I am not attracted to them in that way.  No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t make myself be gay.  No matter how much Whitney tries, she cannot make herself attracted to men.  She is gay.  God made her that way.

And if we agree God is perfect and all powerful, then none of his children are imperfect.  He made Whitney the way she is and she is perfect.

And I know that although M and E might not have openly embraced gays, they loved Whitney with all their hearts and they would want her to be happy.  D wants her to be happy.  Being loving Parents and Grandparents forces us to accept and change and grow in order to be loving.  I know that M and E are looking down from heaven and saying, we wish Whitney all the best.  Our life here in heaven with God is so wonderful and perfect that we want Whitney to have all the love and respect she deserves.  M and E were open to change.  They welcomed me into their family when D and my Mom married.  They adapted to the times although I’m sure having step grandchildren was not their original dream.  So I know M and E would always want the best for Whitney.

Life can be hard and we need all the family we can get.  We need love and acceptance.  We need forgiveness.  I forgive you for not being able to see that Whitney is a wonderful Daughter, Niece, Aunt, Granddaughter, Friend, Partner, and Woman.  I hope that after a time, you may be able to accept Whitney for who she is.  I don’t expect you to embrace her lifestyle, but just accept it.

Life is about change.  And growing.  And learning.  Once people thought it was okay to have slaves and now we realize that no human should ever be enslaved…once interracial marriages were illegal and now they make up a growing population in our country…once we believed divorce was a sin that God could never forgive and now divorce is accepted, but not saluted…once we thought only men could do many things and now we have women proving that we can do almost anything men can do…I truly believe that gays are made by God and therefore should be embraced and shown all our love.  I believe that in a few short years, most people will come around to that way of thinking.

So, I just want you to think about this. If you truly want to do anything and everything to help Whitney, your only Niece, then you will love her.  You will love her for who she is.  And she is gay.  God made her that way and God is loving and good and kind and perfect.  And so is Whitney.  My heart is breaking because Whitney’s heart is breaking.

None of Whitney being gay is your fault.  No human caused this.  Whitney was born an innocent child of God and he loves her for who she is, exactly as she is.  I believe 100% in my heart that if Jesus was on earth today, he would be accepting of all God’s children.

Please take some time to pray and read the bible and talk to your pastor about this.  You should not be embarrassed about this.  Homosexuality is found in the best of families.  And in the best of churches.  And in the best of countries.  Whitney is still Whitney.  And I am so proud to call her my sister.  You should be just as proud to call her your wonderful Niece.

With loving thoughts,

Stacey

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Falafel Balls.

We went to a Lebanese restaurant tonight (Nicholas Restaurant in Portland, OR) for a friend’s birthday dinner, and I tell you what; the Lebanese know how to make some stinking good food!  Who knew that so much love and deliciousness could be wrapped up inside a grape leaf?

I was just remembering back a few years ago when Ellen Degeneres had her sitcom, and it was a HUGE deal for her character to come out as a lesbian, so instead she said that she was Lebanese.  I almost made a joke tonight about being a lesbian in a Lebanese restaurant, but considering that I’d already gone all junior high with my falafel ball jokes (how are you enjoying your balls tonight? Those are some big balls you got there, etc.) I decided to quit while I was ahead.

These are the kind of jokes best left for my blog.

You’re welcome.

Rainbow Connection.

UnknownRea and I were trying to come up with clever Pro Gay Marriage slogans this afternoon:

Rea: “Rainbows are for Everyone.”

Me: “Rainbows – God’s promise that He no longer hates us.”

Rea: “You may get struck by lightning for that one…”

Me: “Yeah, I guess that one wouldn’t go over as well to the general public.”

Rea: “How about, ‘Rainbows – Aren’t they pretty and not threatening in any way’…?”

Me: “Rainbows – The Unicorn’s Equivalent to Peeing in a Public Swimming Pool”

Rea: “Wait…What?”

Me: “You know how parents threaten kids that the water will turn blue if they pee in the pool…”

Rea: “Yeah, it can’t be something that you have to think that hard about.”

I’m not expecting to be hired as a political slogan writer anytime soon.

Hawthorne.

UnknownRea and I went to Bishop’s Barber Shop on Hawthorne (an extremely trendy Portland neighborhood) because I was due for a haircut.  I love going to Bishops usually, because they are super friendly and they give you free beer.  However, Bishops on Hawthorne needs a little help in the customer service department.

When we walked through the door, there was a young man standing behind the counter who seemed to believe that he is too awesome to even exist.  Given his skinny jeans, dirty, tight white T-shirt, young Elvis hair (complete with the curl on top) and large gauge ear-piercings; he was the picture of Hawthorne and therefore Rea and I were clearly no match for his avert coolness.

He gave us no kind of greeting or instruction whatsoever, so Rea and I sat down at the waiting area and shared a whispered conversation so that we could sufficiently mock him in order to make ourselves feel better.

Me:  “Good afternoon, ladies…”

Rea:  “Have you noticed how cool I am…?”

Me:  “Sorry, my awesomeness makes it impossible for me to be friendly…”

Rea:  “I would offer you a beer, but I’m too busy standing here being trendy and amazing.”

Me:  “Oh hi, sorry I didn’t notice you walk in.  These giant holes in my earlobes make it difficult for me to acknowledge your existence.”

We would have continued this amazing banter had we not looked up in time to notice that the trendy young man was totally staring at us from behind the counter.  An extremely awkward length of time passed as we stared back at him in silence.

Mr. Cool mumbled:  “…ummm, so yeah, I didn’t hear your answer…”

Rea and I looked at each other, before I said:  “Ummm…what was the question?”

Mr. Cool sighed:  “Haircut?”

Me:  “Yes, I would like to get a haircut.”  (I felt the need to restate his question as
an acknowledgement to his lack of a complete sentence.)

Mr. Cool:  “Drink?”

Me:  “No thanks, we’re good.”

Mr. Cool:  “K.”

My hairstylist walked over to fetch me a couple of minutes later.  She had green hair.

Green.

I looked at Rea with fear in my eyes.

Rea whispered:  “It’s Hawthorne.”

I whispered back:  “Maybe we should got to Great Clips next time.  In the suburbs…”

Rea: “Nah, we’re too cool for that.”