The Evolution of Men.

Click on the following link to watch the video that this conversation refers to:  Man Humor

I just watched this with (an unnamed) friend, and we both agreed that this video most completely and accurately narrates the Evolution of Men, better than anything we’ve ever seen.

Maybe even better than “Men are from Venis and Mars”…

Me:  “Wait…did I just write ‘Venis’?”

My unnamed friend laughed and said, “Why didn’t you just say ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’?”

My reply was, “Because I meant to say ‘VENUS’…”

UFO:  “Oh…okay, you absolutely cannot post that on your blog…”

Me:  “What about if we have someone else read it first, and then we have a vote to decide whether or not it should go on my blog?”

UFO:  “But will it actually contain the word ‘penis’?”

Me:  “Of course it would!”

UFO:  “Then, NO.”


The Year of the Mullet.


When an old classmate posted this photo on Facebook recently, I just felt the need to officially rename the year of 1986-1987 as “The Year of the Mullet”.

Should we go a little further and take a vote on Best Mullet?

I just want to point out that I was actually able to pull off, both the Farrah Fawcett look with the feathered bangs, AND the actual mullet itself.


I also managed to femme up my own version of Don Johnson/Miami Vice attire.

So there you have it.

I’m throwing my hat into the ring as a Contender in “The Mullet Championship Round”.

Are there any other nominations?


The Lit Match.

Me:   “It’s weird cuz I’ve gotten so many compliments on my hair lately from complete strangers.”

Rose:  “Really?”

Me:  “Yeah, why do you have to act so surprised?”

Rose:  “No…I mean it IS really cool. Your hair…it kind of looks like fire. Come to think of it…you actually really resemble a LIT MATCH!

Me:  “Um…Rose?”

Rose appeared frightened when she replied, “Yes?”

Me:   “How long have we been friends now?”

Rose:  “Oh gosh, I don’t know, like 20-something years?”

Me:  “And have you always talked to me this way?”

Rose:  “Um…no probably not.  I was too scared.”

Me:  “It is amazing that you are still alive right now after your ‘lit match’ comment, you know?”

Rose:  “I know.  I’m sort of thinking about running away right now.”

Me:  “That’s probably a good idea.”

So Sweet of You to Notice.

Me:  “Jeez Rose! You didn’t even notice that I got my hair cut today.  What kind of a friend are you?!”

Rose:  “You didn’t notice that I got my hair cut AND colored today!”

Me:  “You did not.”

Rose:  “Yes I did too!”

Me:  “How much did they even cut off…?”

Rose:  “How much did they even cut off of yours??”

Me:  “A lot actually.  Like, I can make a faux-hawk again.”

Rose:  “Well…that really backfired on ya, didn’t it?”

Me:  “Yes I suppose it did.  Let’s try this again…Hey Rose!  Nice haircut!!  Did you get it colored too??”

Rose:  “Why yes, I did!  I like your haircut too!”

Me:  “Why, thank you!   So sweet of you to notice!”

Play-Doh Medusa.

imagesI made a butt-load of delicious popcorn for a Movie Night with Rose and Caleb (Hanna is with her grandparents and Rea is on-call at Harborview tonight).

We ate all of the popcorn, but both Rose and Caleb fell asleep during the original “Clash of the Titans” before the scene with Medusa; which is only the best part! 

When I woke Rose up so that she could go to bed, she said, “I didn’t want to say anything before because you chose the movie and all but…it’s pretty terrible don’t ya think?”

My reply was, “Of course it’s terrible!  That’s what makes it so great!!”

Rose:  “The monsters all look like they’re made out of Play-Doh or something.”

Me:  “Well that makes so much sense now!”

Rose:  “What do you mean?”

Me:  “Throughout my childhood I had reoccurring nightmares about turning into Play-Doh.”

Rose:  “You are so weird!”

Me:  “And that’s why you love me.”

Rose:  “True.”


944533_10151714090650862_700685577_nStill trying to wrap my head around the events of this past week. My heart is broken for my beautiful niece, Kristie, Jeremy, Baby Tony, and the rest of the family who are all trying to pick up the pieces after the tragic loss of Kristie’s precious little sister, Ashley.  

Rea, Katee, Mom and I drove to Omak, WA for the service, and we all just wanted to hold Kristie in our arms and make the pain go away. If only it could be that easy. Please keep Kristie and her family in your prayers as God begins the healing process in their hearts.


156141_10151714952985862_1769186410_nAmidst the tragic events from this past week, I’ve gotta say that it did my heart good to see my brother’s kids, Katee and Jeremy, bonding with each other and working as a team.  Tony would be so proud!

Katee is such a precious girl and she just jumped up to help whenever and wherever she was needed.  Whether she was cuddling with Kristie (in the attached photo), helping Jeremy with Baby Tony, or providing comic relief when laughter was needed more than anything, Katee was a beacon of light during a time of great darkness and sorrow.

Unfortunately for me, Katee was determined to prove that if someone were to lick your elbow without you knowing it, you wouldn’t even feel it.  Therefore while I was talking to Rea one evening, Katee shouted, “HAHA I just licked your elbow…” and before I could say, “You did not…” I felt my elbow and shouted, “Oh god, GROSS!! My elbow is WET!!”

According to Katee, that was the most hilarious moment of her life.

Portland, OR – March 23rd, 2013

483863_10151525289470862_219903672_nFavorite quotes from this weekend, in no particular order:

“Dude, where’s your car?”

“Nothing like taking a stumble right into the ‘Watch Your Step’ sign…”

Waitress: “We’re all out of Maker’s Mark.” Faith: “That’s okay, I like all different kinds of whiskeys.” Waitress: “Okay, well we have Jim Beam, Jack Daniels…” Faith: “I’ll take some Jim Beam!” Waitress smiles and walks away. Rose: “You must really like Jim Beam huh?” Faith: “Well, I’m not really sure…I just recognized the name and he sounds like a good guy, that Jimmy.”

“You know what we should do? We should take a Ouija Board to Kennedy School…” “Why? Kennedy School isn’t haunted…is it?!” “Are you kidding me? Have you looked at those framed old pictures that they have hanging all around the place? Those kids have crazy looking, soul-less eyes!” “Yeah, okay, let’s not…”

“Seriously Dude, where’s your car…?”

Rose: “What are you laughing at?” Faith: “I don’t even know anymore…” Rose: “I know why, it’s because you heard Whitney say something…” Faith: “Yeah, I’m not sure what she said, but I’m sure it was totally hilarious!” Me: “It was.”

“We’d better slow down. Remember, Whitney’s gimp leg.”

Me: “I can’t believe that you’re going to just wear that coat right now that you just bought at Buffalo Exchange. It hasn’t even been washed! Some old lady might have died in that coat…” Rose: “Shut up, nobody died in this coat.” Me: “How do you know? Have you smelled it?” Rose: “I don’t smell anything.” Me: “I’m afraid to even smell it. It might smell like death.” Rose: “SHUT UP!”

“What does your rental car even look like?” “It’s grey.” “Okay, it’s a grey car. What kind is it?” “I think it’s a Chrysler, but I’m not sure.” “Okay, so we’re looking for a grey, maybe Chrysler vehicle…How hard can it be?”

“You’re scaring me! I can’t even look at you anymore. I need you to walk away.”

“Look, you can hit the unlock button as many times as you want, but if it’s not working, then it’s probably not the right car. Oh look! It’s a Nissan…” “Yeah, but it’s grey!”

“Leave it to you to say something inappropriate and make people uncomfortable before you’ve even hung up your jacket.”

“Just wait here and I’ll go find the car!” “I’m not just going to wait here and let you go off and get mugged and stolen or something.” “I appreciate that, I really do, but how are you going to be any help to me whatsoever with your gimp leg…?” “My gimp leg won’t have any problem kicking YOUR ass.”

Jon: “How’s your blog coming along?” Me: “Well, not so great. I’m not sure what I really want to do with it…” Jon: “Okay, well I have a great idea for you to write about! Just hear me out: “There’s this kid who is a wizard but he doesn’t even know it, but then he finds out that he’s a wizard and he goes off to wizard school…” Me: “Nah, that sounds lame.”

“You know who’s awesome? Sally Platt.” “OH YEAH, oh my god, Sally Platt is the BEST!”

Maya: “We’re at the concert. Where are you guys?” Me: “I’m still at Faith’s party, but Rose is by the bar.” Maya: Okay, I’m going to need more details than that. I’m short, remember?”

“Someone’s had one whiskey too many…”

“Oh my God, your rental car isn’t even GREY!” “Yes it is!!” “No it’s not! It’s silver!!” “Well yeah, but silver is just a shade of grey.” “I may have to kill you.”

“Homeless guys seriously have the hots for me.” “Well you don’t have to go and brag about it!”

“How much would you charge me to rent your kids for the weekend and introduce you as my partner?”