It would be safe to say that my sister, Stacey, is my Hero...
Dear R and J,
It pains me to write you this letter. You have been so generous to both Whitney and my mom and I so appreciate it. Your monetary help to Mom has been a godsend. And R, I cannot thank you enough for the yard work and trips to the dump. You were a lifesaver.
You both seem like such wonderful people and I don’t want to offend you in any way. But I feel I must address your hateful and hurtful and ungodly comments to Whitney. I know her heart is breaking. You have made her feel ashamed and that is wrong!
I am very sorry that you feel Whitney has disappointed you both, as well as, M and E. I would like to respond.
Although you feel that being gay is ungodly, many people, including many devout Christians, do not agree with you. Many churches welcome gays into their ministries with open arms. There are even gay ministers. The bible is open to a lot of interpretation by humans and just because you believe one way, there is no proof that God or the Bible agree with your way.
Whitney is a Christian and lives a Christian life. She attends church and prays and tries to be kind and helpful and forgiving. Her Partner has gone through seminary, led a devout life, and is now a hospital Chaplain. This is definitely a godly couple and they are leading a life devoted to god and each other. Whitney leads a life of integrity. She works hard. She lives with God’s grace surrounding her in every thing she does.
I do not believe that being a homosexual and leading a homosexual life is a sin. I imagine it is a trait we are born with. Here is why I think this. I was born a heterosexual. I love my friends who are women, but no matter how much I love them, I do not want to have sex with them. I am not attracted to them in that way. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t make myself be gay. No matter how much Whitney tries, she cannot make herself attracted to men. She is gay. God made her that way.
And if we agree God is perfect and all powerful, then none of his children are imperfect. He made Whitney the way she is and she is perfect.
And I know that although M and E might not have openly embraced gays, they loved Whitney with all their hearts and they would want her to be happy. D wants her to be happy. Being loving Parents and Grandparents forces us to accept and change and grow in order to be loving. I know that M and E are looking down from heaven and saying, we wish Whitney all the best. Our life here in heaven with God is so wonderful and perfect that we want Whitney to have all the love and respect she deserves. M and E were open to change. They welcomed me into their family when D and my Mom married. They adapted to the times although I’m sure having step grandchildren was not their original dream. So I know M and E would always want the best for Whitney.
Life can be hard and we need all the family we can get. We need love and acceptance. We need forgiveness. I forgive you for not being able to see that Whitney is a wonderful Daughter, Niece, Aunt, Granddaughter, Friend, Partner, and Woman. I hope that after a time, you may be able to accept Whitney for who she is. I don’t expect you to embrace her lifestyle, but just accept it.
Life is about change. And growing. And learning. Once people thought it was okay to have slaves and now we realize that no human should ever be enslaved…once interracial marriages were illegal and now they make up a growing population in our country…once we believed divorce was a sin that God could never forgive and now divorce is accepted, but not saluted…once we thought only men could do many things and now we have women proving that we can do almost anything men can do…I truly believe that gays are made by God and therefore should be embraced and shown all our love. I believe that in a few short years, most people will come around to that way of thinking.
So, I just want you to think about this. If you truly want to do anything and everything to help Whitney, your only Niece, then you will love her. You will love her for who she is. And she is gay. God made her that way and God is loving and good and kind and perfect. And so is Whitney. My heart is breaking because Whitney’s heart is breaking.
None of Whitney being gay is your fault. No human caused this. Whitney was born an innocent child of God and he loves her for who she is, exactly as she is. I believe 100% in my heart that if Jesus was on earth today, he would be accepting of all God’s children.
Please take some time to pray and read the bible and talk to your pastor about this. You should not be embarrassed about this. Homosexuality is found in the best of families. And in the best of churches. And in the best of countries. Whitney is still Whitney. And I am so proud to call her my sister. You should be just as proud to call her your wonderful Niece.
With loving thoughts,