The Lit Match.

Me:   “It’s weird cuz I’ve gotten so many compliments on my hair lately from complete strangers.”

Rose:  “Really?”

Me:  “Yeah, why do you have to act so surprised?”

Rose:  “No…I mean it IS really cool. Your hair…it kind of looks like fire. Come to think of it…you actually really resemble a LIT MATCH!

Me:  “Um…Rose?”

Rose appeared frightened when she replied, “Yes?”

Me:   “How long have we been friends now?”

Rose:  “Oh gosh, I don’t know, like 20-something years?”

Me:  “And have you always talked to me this way?”

Rose:  “Um…no probably not.  I was too scared.”

Me:  “It is amazing that you are still alive right now after your ‘lit match’ comment, you know?”

Rose:  “I know.  I’m sort of thinking about running away right now.”

Me:  “That’s probably a good idea.”

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