Dollar Store Pregnancy Tests.

Rea:  “You know what I saw at the Dollar Store when I went to buy Whitney a night light so that she’ll stop missing the step on her way to the bathroom?  (It only took me until the third night in our new home to miss the step leading out of our bedroom – worst place for a step EVER!! – and fall flat on my face in the middle of the night.  I scared poor Rea half to death because I slammed the door as I was falling, and in her sleepy delirium she imagined finding me on the ground with bones sticking out if my skin.  Thankfully I just hurt my left foot a little bit, and since I have a sore right knee it all balances out nicely, making me a well-rounded Gimp.)

Rose:  “Oh god, what’d you find…?”

Rea:  “A pregnancy test.  At the Dollar Store.  I mean, is it just me or does that not seem like a very reliable source of information in regards to a possible pregnancy?”

Me:  “A real pregnancy test costs what, like 15 bucks? Well, if you bought like 15 Dollar Store pregnancy tests then you could just average out the results…”

Rose:  “I want Rea to be the one who walks into the Dollar Store to buy 15 pregnancy tests.”

Rea:  “Oh I’m sure it happens all the time.  It just feels like a discount if you’re buying it at the Dollar Store even though you’d have to still pay $15 to get an accurate assessment.  Like 9 out of 15 pregnancy tests came back positive so I guess it’s official; I’m knocked up…”

Rose:  “Yeah, I get that part, but how many LESBIANS buy 15 pregnancy tests at the Dollar Store?”

Rea:  “I’m sure it’s more than you think.”

Me:  “If you added a Priest and a Nun to that equation it’d make for a pretty great joke.  Like…a Priest, a Nun and a Lesbian walk into the Dollar Store to buy a pregnancy test…”

Rose:  “It’d make perfect sense if they sold condoms there as well.  Like a ‘buy 3 condoms, get 3 pregnancy tests free’ sort of deal.”

Rea:  “Maybe we should suggest that to them!”

Me:  “Oh I doubt that the Dollar Store is ever going to give anything away for free, since they’re already practically giving their merchandise away, but I appreciate your logic.”

Rose:  “Yeah, but they’d have to buy at least 7 pregnancy tests to get a majority rules assessment…”

Rea:  “Yeah, so they’d still be making a profit.”

Me:  “Of course they would.  My bad.  You guys are brilliant.”


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