I had the craziest dream last night. In my dream, Jesus was giving a sermon…on a cruise ship.
Jesus was standing on a stage that appeared to be decorated for a Vegas Lounge Act, with bright fluorescent lights and chandeliers. He was all decked out in His neutral colored robes and brown Birkenstocks, and the audience appeared to be a bunch of hippies from the 70’s (myself included) who chose to sit on the floor and hold hands during Jesus’ speech.
While I don’t recall much of Jesus’ sermon, I do remember that He introduced a Game Show round, where the winner would receive a special blessing, or a miracle healing of his/her choice. The Game Show required us to split into groups of 4, and in our group we had to choose a leader who would perform on-stage all of the songs that we could recall from Jesus’ rock albums.
That’s right. Jesus had recorded 4 albums during His time on earth.
The group that could accurately perform the most Jesus songs would be the winner. The performer would be the actual Grand Prize winner, but the rest of the group would win Runners-up prizes as well. The Runners-up would receive a lifetime supply of loaves and fish courtesy of Walmart.
Lucky for my group, I was a huge fan of Jesus music, so I was chosen as the leader and I performed my little heart out on the Vegas Lounge Act stage. Turns out that Jesus had been disguised as Keith Green during His rock music career, and so Keith Green’s music was what I performed. “You Put This Love in my Heart“, “My Eyes are Dry“, and “Oh Lord, You’re Beautiful” were just a few of the songs that I could recall. The rest of the groups did not realize that they were supposed to perform Keith Green’s Greatest Hits, and they were instead performing Queen and ABBA songs, so obviously our team won by a landslide!
While I would love to say that I chose a completely unselfish blessing or healing from Jesus for my Grand Prize, I instead jumped off of the back of the cruise ship so that I could entice Jesus to jump in and rescue me. Truthfully, I just wanted to witness Him walking on water.
It was worth it though, because everybody thought that it was freakin’ awesome to see Jesus walking on water!
The whole thing made me incredibly popular, and Jesus gave me a high-five, and somewhere along the way I ended up with the most adorable Persian kitten that just looked like a white ball of fluff with giant blue eyes.