Okay, so I can understand accidentally crapping your pants (not personally, but it has happened to a friend of mine…) but how can someone “accidentally give birth” to a baby while they’re running a marathon when they didn’t even know that they were pregnant in the first place? Seriously?!
Lady, I’ll give you a tip just in case it ever happens to you again: Turds don’t (usually) kick, or make you crave ice cream with pickles in the middle of the night, or make you think of baby names, or make you hate the man who “did this to me!!”.
Even if it does create any of those symptoms, why, for the love of GOD, would it EVER make you think that it would be a good idea to push it out around a bunch of innocent bystanders?!
I call that the Mother of all Sharts.