Rea and I were driving back to Portland from Seattle yesterday, and we decided that we deserved a DQ Blizzard as a reward for being so good on our diets for the past couple of weeks – (insert irony here).
We stopped at the halfway point in Centralia, WA to fill the gas tank and use the bathroom, and then we went through the Dairy Queen drive-thru before getting back on the freeway. I ordered a Banana Split Blizzard, and Rea got one of the chocolatey kinds.
The car went totally silent as we enjoyed our frozen treats. About two bites in, I realized that there was something wrong, so of course I complained to Rea about it.
Me: “There is no chocolate syrup in this.”
Rea: “Is it supposed to have chocolate syrup?”
Me: “Does a banana split have chocolate syrup?”
Me: “So yes.”
Rea: “Pardon me!”
Me: “Plus I just found a piece of coconut! There’s not supposed to be coconut in here. This must be the Hawaiian Blizzard!”
Rea: “Oh no! This is a disaster! Do we need to turn around?”
Me: “First of all, I don’t appreciate your sarcasm. Don’t forget about the Zesty Sauce story…”
Rea raised her eyebrows and shook her head in fear: “Not the Zesty Sauce!”
Me: “And second of all, it’s still ice cream and it’s still delicious. I was just making a point.”
Rea: “Point taken. Well I watched them put like three-quarters of a banana in the blender, so at least it has banana in it.”
Me: “Yep, it has banana. Oh and a nut! I just found a nut in it too!”
Rea: “Let me guess…there’s not supposed to be nuts in it either?”
Me: “No, there’s not supposed to be nuts, but it was a pecan and it tasted pretty good. I swear, they must not have had a clue what the hell goes into a Banana Split Blizzard, so they just put a scoop of everything in it or something…”
Me: “Except the chocolate syrup.”
Rea: “Yes. The chocolate syrup is severely lacking.”
We went back to chowing down our Blizzards when I got something unidentifiable in my mouth. I took it out to look at it.
Me: “Rea? What does this look like to you…?”
Rea: “Umm…I’m not sure…?”
Me: “Oh god, I think it’s a banana peel!”
Rea: “Yup, that’s a piece of a banana peel all right.”
Me: “What in the world is happening?! Is this God trying to punish me for cheating on my diet or something?”
Rea: “Well I don’t know. Are you going to stop eating it now?”
I thought about it for a second: “Nah. It’d have to be at least a human finger before I stopped eating it. Actually, even then I may just throw the finger out the window and then try to eat around it.”
Rea: “Now that’s love right there.”
Me: “You know it!”