Sex and Tractors.

3 Reasons that Rain is a Good Thing
By: Luke Bryan

1) Rain makes corn.
2) Corn makes whiskey.
3) Whiskey makes my Baby get a little frisky.

Can’t say that Country Music isn’t educational…

We listened to A LOT of country music on our trip to the South, and I’ve gotta say that my long-lost love for country music may be rekindled.  We’ve decided that in order to write a hit country song, you really have to have a list of country things such as:

1)  Comfy jeans, beer (preferably cheap, canned beer because micro-brews are for sissies), whiskey/moonshine, bar brawls, inner-tubes, Chevy trucks, fried chicken, gravel roads, etc, etc.

2)  You must reference country legends such as Willie, Waylon, Cash, Dolly, Loretta, Haggard, and apparently, Tim McGraw?

3)  You must use phrases such as “darlin”, “baby”, “boondocks”, “hick”, “redneck yacht club”, “hillbilly trailer park”, “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmotor-boatin”.

4)  If you don’t reference God and/or America at some point then you may as well just forget it.

5)  And TRACTORS!  Never leave out tractors and how ladies think they’re sexy…

6)  If you manage to write a song using every one of these words, and also add something about the wisdom from your Granddad then…

&)  BOOM!  You’ve got a hit record on your hands.

images

If Marcy Playground had made a country album in the 90’s it would’ve gone something like this:

Sex and Tractors:

I smell sex and tractors, yeah…

Who’s that lounging in my flatbed?

Who’s that casting their line in my fish-ing hole…

yeah Granddad this surely is a dream…

And FYI, in case you’re wondering or getting pissed off because I’m mocking country music?

Au Contrair.

I totally dig it.

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