Cracker Barrel.

After we’d enjoyed being tourists on Beale Street, we rented a car in Memphis and then headed to Rea’s hometown of Jackson, Mississippi.  Of course we had to have dinner on the way, and of course I suggested Cracker Barrel.  When I called my mom to let her know that we’d arrived safely and that we were going to Cracker Barrel for dinner, she said:

Mom:  “Oh my god, you HAVE to order the fried gizzards!  Oh my god…and the CHICKEN LIVERS!  They’re simply to DIE for!!”

Me:  “That’d kill someone alright…Mom, I told you that we’re going to Cracker Barrel.  We’re not filming an episode of Strange Foods with Andrew Zimmern!”


(Nothin’ like smoking my corn cob pipe at Cracker Barrel while waiting for a table. This is how i roll in the South…)

Of course  we had to look at the gift shop while we were waiting.  I was in my own little world, admiring the clearance section, when one of the ladies who worked there came up to me and said, “Excuse me, Ma’am?”  Of course I looked all around me to try to figure out who the hell she was talking to before I sounded like a dumb-ass by pointing to myself saying, “Who me?”

Gift shop girl:  “I’m sure that you probably thought I’ve been stalking you, since I’ve been following you all around the store…?”

I just stared at her blankly, which let her know that I’d been completely unaware of the fact that she’d been stalking me.

Gift shop girl:  “Well I’ve just been admiring your hair.  The color, the cut, just…everything about it!”

My whole self turned red when I said, “Oh wow, okay…thank you?!”

Gift shop girl:  “That’s all I wanted to say.”  Then she grinned shyly and walked back to the cash register.

Rea walked over to me then and said:  “I just can’t even leave you alone for a second before you’ve got everyone fawning all over you!”

Me:  “Yeah…who’da thought that I’d be such a hot item in the South?”

Rea pointed at herself:  “THIS girl!”

The dinner special was chicken and dumplings, so I ordered the chicken and dumplings.

Guess what they were out of…?

Chicken and Dumplings.

So I ordered BBQ pork with hashbrown casserole, sweet potato casserole (because I couldn’t decide between the two) and sweet tea that was so sweet it darn near made my teeth rot out of my head!

In other words; it was delicious.

I told Rea that our waitress was lucky that my Auntie Verna wasn’t the one who ordered chicken and dumplings and got denied.  She would’ve taken that bitch OUT!


One thought on “Cracker Barrel.

  1. Now that is true, my mom would’ve took the bitch out or just momentarily humiliate the shit out of the waitress, all while explaining how nice and compassionate she is to her dinner guests! BTW hope ya had the fried okra for me!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s