Kimchi.

imagesMy mom called me the other day so that she could tell me, in great detail, about eating an entire jar of kimchi.

Mom:  “I went to the store to look for some snacks that I can have on my diet, because you know, there aren’t many tasty snacks that I can have, and I noticed a jar of kimchi in the exotic foods section of Safeway.  That’s when I remembered how much I LOVE kimchi!  And I can have it on my diet because all it is is spicy pickled cabbage, and it’s gluten-free and everything!”

Me:  “Uh huh…”

Mom:  “So I bought a jar of it, and went home, and would you believe that I ate that ENTIRE jar of KIMCHI?”

Me:  “Yes.”

Mom:  “It was pretty much the best thing I’ve had to eat, well, EVER!  It was spicy, but just the right amount of spice.  I mean, it got my nose to running but it wasn’t painful or anything.”

Me:  “Uh huh…”

Mom:  “Well, wouldn’t you know that that kimchi gave me the WORST gas I’ve ever had?”

Me:  “I find that hard to believe.”

Mom:  “No really, I mean, if it was possible to DIE from farts, then I would be dead right now.”

Me:  “Oh jeez…”

Mom:  “The poor pets didn’t even want to be in the same room with me!”

Me:  “That’s pretty bad.”

Mom:  “I’m pretty sure that I may have levitated myself off of the recliner at one point.  Too bad you weren’t here to see the show!”

Me:  “Oh yeah, you know how sad I am to have missed all that.”

Mom:  “Oh god, I’m telling you, IT WAS BAD!”

Me:  “Well, I guess you learned your lesson then…”

Mom:  “About what?”

Me:  “About not eating an entire jar of kimchi in one sitting.”

Mom:  “Oh no, I’d definitely do it all over again.  It was worth it.”

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