Bunny Owners.

I have recently added Dog Walking to my professional resume. It has been a wonderful tool for getting me up earlier in the morning, you know, since I actually get paid to play with dogs and get exercise! I currently walk 4 different dogs for a total of 2 hours of walking each day, 5 days a week. That’s some great exercise!You would think that it would be pretty difficult to embarrass myself in this line of work, but rest assured; I have found a way…

Today I was walking Copper (the sweetest Labradoodle in the entire world) around her neighborhood. I always take her to this house that’s about 6 blocks away, because her favorite thing in the world is to go and visit the bunnies.

There are 4 bunnies who live in a really large, fenced, outdoor kennel, and Copper just loves to sit there and watch them for a few minutes. She doesn’t bark, or growl at all; she is just saying hello to her little Bunny Friends.

Well today, as we were walking up the hill, after visiting Copper’s Bunny Friends, we ran into 2 elderly men who were standing on the sidewalk chatting. One of the men tipped his hat to me (because he was such a gentleman) and said, “Well Hello, Copper! Is that Copper?!”

Copper got all excited, so I smiled and said, “Yes, this is Copper. And you must be one of the Boners…!”

Both men appeared stunned, and a good 3 seconds before I registered what I had just said…

Me: “I’m so sorry! I meant to say Bunny Owners! You must be one of the Bunny Owners!”

The other man completely avoided eye contact with me, and the Bunny Owner gave me a stiff smile and said, “Yes, they are my bunnies…”

Me: “Copper just LOVES to visit your bunnies! But I guess you already knew that…umm, yeah….
…nice weather we’re having today, huh?”

Both men appeared relieved and smiled as Copper and I hurriedly walked away. They both agreed, “Yeah it’s a beautiful day!”

Oh.

My.

Gargoyle.

Boners.

I called an old man a “Boner” today.

Bunny. Owner. BUNNY OWNER.

Bunny Owner!!!

Jumping Jack.

I twisted my knee pretty good last week when I was playing tennis, and I’ve basically been going through life with a gimp leg ever since.  Tonight I realized that it’s really starting to feel better, so I said to Rea:

Me:  “My knee feels so much better!  I bet I could actually do a jumping jack!”

Rea:  “A jumping jack?”

Me:  “Yeah.”

Rea:  “As in singular; one jumping jack.”

Me:  “Well yeah, of course just one!  I’m not trying to break a world record or anything, I’m just proving a point that I think that my knee is getting better.”

Rea:  “Now, don’t go getting all crazy doing ONE jumping jack.  You don’t want to go and injure yourself again…”

Me:  “Do I sense a bit of sarcasm from the peanut gallery…?”

Rea:  “I’m just sayin’…  Be careful, that’s all!”

Me:  “You’re asking for a whooping right about now.”

Rea:  “Take it easy now…you’re most likely going to be exhausted after your ONE jumping jack so maybe we should schedule the whooping for next week?”